Wednesday, June 11, 2008

STEP 2: Add a Little Structure

What we noticed first
"We" have a problem, too
Fixing it:
STEP 1: Create Family Rules

Step 2: Add a Little Structure

I am a person that likes structure. I like to plan and know what is coming next. It's just the way it is. Will may be the same way as these "open play" summer days are just not working for us.

Jeff took this past Friday off and the oldest boys spent the night at Grandmother's. We took the "quiet" time to really talk about the direction of our family and how we need to be training our boys better than we have been.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.

So, we came up with the Family Rules in Step 1 to begin with. We try to work the words in green into our day and our disciple to help teach the concepts of respect, staying calm, obeying, etc. So far it has really been working well. I am quite pleased!

For me, training also includes adding more structure to our day. So...

I got out my control journal (wiped off the dust) and revamped our daily routine to include daily bible reading (I know this should have already been there!), some sort of schooling to help Will keep up with it for Kindergarten and prepare Nathan for two days of preschool, and also some leg stretches to hopefully ward off those tiptoes before Will turns 8! None of the routine is rigid... we still go with the flow, but with a bit of an outline to help us stay on track with what needs to be done.

I not only updated the boy's daily routine, but mine as well. Giving myself time to do everything I need to get done. I included an earlier wake up time and even a bed time for myself. I need to be rested to properly take care of the boys. My mornings are VERY busy now, but at the end of the day I feel better about myself for connecting with the boys and keeping up better with my home.

Proverbs 31

She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
26She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

There's lots more in Proverbs 31, but I can't work on it all at once. ;) This is still such a new process and of course it's not perfect, but the outline works (when I follow it).

Here's the goal (again from Proverbs 31):

28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”

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Lindsay said...

Proverbs 31 is one of my favorites. I read it periodically to ground myself and put perspective on what I should be doing as a wife and mother when I feel I've gone astray.

Super B's Mom said...

You know what? I TRULY ADMIRE YOU. I love that even through your blog we can feel the love and warmth of your home. You inspire me to do more. This really got me thinking about our intense need for structure at home. More times than not, I feel like our family life is complete chaos. And that is not only stressful on me, but on Super B as well.

Unknown said...

It's true what you say about the rest and needing more of it. I've also been gong to bed earlier so that I 'm not so tired throughout the day and have more energy for my family. It's kinda hard because that down time is so precious.

Hey, thanks for the info about soy milk. I was wondering about that.

Mary@notbefore7 said...

You are awesome! Those rules are awesome. The best part is your committing it to God. So often we roll up our sleeves and "take matters into our own hands"...but we forget that "unless thy house is built on the Lord, its laborers work in vain." (or a verse close to it...)

You are building your house on the Lord and He will fulfill His plans through you.

This was inspiring for me as we begin to regain routine and structure.

check out - they have some "if, then" charts I liked. You have the "bad behavior", a "verse next to it to review" and then the consequence. Helps eveyrone know what to expect. YOu could modifiy it to fit your rules.

Keep at it girl. Keep sharing it too. This was helpful, especially the part about modifiying YOUR routine. I needed tohear that.

Andrea said...

It's wonderful that you have seen a problem and are working to make changes instead of throwing up your hands. I think that this is what God intends us to do when He lends us these beautiful (and sometimes difficult) children to raise.
You are doing something that also seems to work well for me - adding more discipline to your own day also. I've found that when I'm founded in the Word, well-rested, and nutritionaly healthy, I am a MUCH better mom!
Pray without ceasing...

4funboys said...

some days are definitely easier than others... your boys are blessed to have a mother who loves them enough to want to make each day better than the last.

Christina said...

Great blog. I also have three sons (now very tall guys) and homeschooled through 5th grade with each. I taught Montessori school and now do a blog about culture, children, media, and technology (and more). Keep up the great work!