What Happened? Why Homeschooling?

Granted many families know from the get-go that they want to homeschool. This was not the case for us. Jeff had mentioned the possibility of it to me years ago, but I quickly turned it down. I loved school and have fond memories of it; I wanted my kids to have same.


HOWEVER...

Our oldest son, Will (age 6 1/2) just completed his first year of kindergarten in a public school and the year was much less than what I had hoped it would be. Although it started out well, his original(and wonderful) teacher was diagnosed with breast cancer right before Thanksgiving and she had to take a leave of absence for her treatments. The class went through three different substitutes; the last one was a (newly) certified teacher and she was hired for the remainder of the school year.

With each substitute came transition periods, different teaching styles, and just plain havoc on the much needed structure of a 5-6 year old's day. There were days Will didn't want to go to school... and I didn't want to send him... and sometimes I didn't. We had "family vacation days" where we just de-stressed together.

The teacher that remained was new to teaching, had done her studies with 3rd graders, and had no children of her own. Now, you certainly don't have to have children of your own to be a good teacher, but it does give you a different perspective. I know I am a completely different person now that I have kids. (If I had been thrown in a room with 14 kindergartners before I had children... that would have been rough on me, too.)

Without the knowledge of how kids behave at this age, Will (and the other students) were getting in trouble for normal 5-6 year old behavior. There was very little positive feedback for the kids and only a handful were going to the "treasure box". Kindergarten is supposed to be fun! It is supposed to set a good foundation for years to come! It is supposed to fill a child's brain and heart with positive memories! It just wasn't doing any of those things as far as I could tell.

So in the middle of this crazy year, Jeff and I seriously considered removing Will and homeschooling for the rest of the year. Before deciding, Jeff and I met with the principal and the teacher individually. After the meetings, I explained to Will what homeschooling is and just tried to "feel him out" for his thoughts on the subject.

HE WAS THRILLED!

However, at the time there was the possibility of the original teacher returning in April so we decided to stick it out in hopes of a ending the year on a positive note. Remaining in school would also allow Will the opportunity to take the Metropolitan Readiness Test easily, of which he scored 98% out of 99% and was later invited to the gifted school for 1st and 2nd graders! Go, Will! :)

As the year progressed, it was obvious that things were not really improving. The teacher would threaten to take things away when she got mad: snack time, parent-student kite day, rest time... anything the kids looked forward to. Too bad for her they were always things she couldn't really take away. Empty threats. (Apparently she even threatened to take away the end of the year party and Will thought she had because he told me the night before that that there would be no party. So sad. He was so disappointed. I told him not to worry about it... there WOULD be a party!) UGH. Just makes me mad. Will also mentioned that she can be as "mad as a wizard sometimes". Not really what you want to hear your child say about the person they are spending a good chunk of their day with.

Well, his original teacher was not able to return in April and by then there were only two months left in the school year, which meant field day, the kindergarten play, parties, and more fun (hopefully).

Somewhere in the middle of all of this, homeschooling became a choice and not a necessity (which will be a different post). I think that was a very important step for us that has set a better foundation for the year(s) to come. As part of our choice, we decided to give him a "natural" end to the school year instead of an abrupt removal.

Was that the best choice? Would I do that again? Honestly, I really don't know, BUT... kindergarten is behind us, we have summer to look forward to, as well as what is sure to be an unforgettable 1st grade! :)

Kindergarten is OVER!!!

Hallelujah! We made it through the first year of public school! This year certainly was not what I was expecting or wanting for our first experience of public schooling, but at least the end of it was fun! LOL!

Tuesday of this week was awards day and all of the kindergartners were awarded a certificate for completing the year. At first, I didn't think I would be able to go to the ceremony, so I told Will that I would check him out early that day instead (and go for ice cream... shhhh! don't tell the other boys!) :)

However, Jeff pulled a few strings and was able to do some work at home that morning so I could go. Will lit up when he saw me at the back of the gym taking pictures! I'm so glad I was able to go!!

After lunch, I went back and checked him out early while my MIL stayed with the other two boys. We went for ice cream and he chose a big waffle cone dipped in dark chocolate with a scoop of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream... topped off with a helping of peanut butter chips! He only finished half of it because it was so sweet! Then we ran a couple short errands together before heading home.

Yesterday, he received his report card. High marks on everything except for behavior... N's in music and PE.

Today was the end of the year party. I brought Nathan and Witt with me since I knew they were keeping the party simple with just chalk, bubbles, and a quick snack. We arrived for the outside part of it and the boys had fun checking out all the kids.

After the popsicle treat, Will was ready to go. So I signed him out early and we headed home for naps. It was nice to not have to wake up Nathan to go pick up Will from school. In fact, Nathan is still snoozing. :)

Now, with Kindergarten over, you might be wondering what was decided regarding homeschooling. Well, at first I thought I wouldn't make a "formal" announcement because I received some negative comments when we were frist considering it, but this is my blog... it's about our life... and it's what we're doing. I'm not going into the whys of our choice in this post, but am putting it out there that we will begin homeschooling 1st grade in the Fall.

The family (including grandparents) are on board with our decision and we are all really excited about it. Will gets a gleam in his eye when we talk about mommy being the teacher for 1st grade. In fact, we received part of our curriculum for next year in the mail today shortly after arriving home from checking Will out. IT WAS LIKE CHRISTMAS!! Two hours after I put the curriculum away, Will came begging to see the model of the human ear! How could I resist such a request!?! :)

So, anyway, we're looking forward to summer and to putting the boot-camp kindergarten teachers behind us. (Just yesterday, Will said that his current teacher can sometimes be as "mean as a wizard!" - so I am really glad to be done!)

So there you have it... the final "big thing" that is going on. No wonder I'm looking forward to our much needed vacation!

Wishing you all a great summer!

Metropolitan Readiness Test (MRT)

The basic purpose of this test is to assess a child's development of beginning reading and mathematics skills. The kindergarten class at Will's elementary school took the test last week and the results came in today.

Will did exceptionally well!

Beginning Reading Skill Area: 35 out of 36

Story Comprehension Skill Area: 25 out of 26

Quantitative Skill Area: 26 out of 28

National Percentile Rank: 98-99%

(99% being the highest possible % ... they don't rank to 100%)

I'm so glad he's doing well academically, but at the same time now I feel like I have proof that he is in fact bored. :/

Meeting the Teacher

Well, Jeff and I met with Mrs. B, the current teacher in Will's class.

Unfortunately she was quite pleasant. :) I was hoping she would be rude to make my decision easier! LOL!

The first thing that we mentioned to her is that we realize what a difficult situation she has been put in and that we understand that it must be very challenging to her. We told her that we were not there to point fingers; that we just had concerns that needed to be expressed and to also get her side of the story. We wanted to make sure she was not guarded in her answers - especially since we knew she had four other conferences scheduled for the same week! Bless her heart.

It was obvious that she was new to the work-force and admitted that kindergarten is different and more challenging than the 3rd graders she had worked with in the past. I think she is aware of the challenges and trying to compensate for them.

She used the word "adjustment" several times in our conversation. Everyone is still adjusting, but she said she really feels like the kids are starting to realize that she's going to be staying (until Mrs. P returns). She said that the card pulling is slowing down as the children are becoming more comfortable with her.

I showed her the difference in the number of cards pulled between her and Mrs. P. There were occasional cards pulled with Mrs. P. That really let me know when Will had had a particularly bad day. When he's coming home with 2 - 3 cards pulled DAILY, the only thing I can think is that he is consistently having bad days and being terribly disruptive.

She told us that Will is by no means the most disruptive in the class... there are at least four others ahead of him. (I was hoping for a bigger number, but at least it's not lower!) She said he is a sweet boy and that she can tell he is "coming around".

I asked how she thought he was doing academically; she said he was doing just fine, right on track, and would put him in the top percentage of the class. I then asked if she thought he was board or not being challenged enough and she said he probably was. She also said that he will probably be asked to attend the school for gifted children next year.

I also brought up positive-reinforcement. Since he's had a card pulled practically everyday for two months, he hasn't been to the treasure box. She kind of smiled and said, "No one really has. There are only about four kids that consistently go to the treasure box." (I'm not really excited about that answer.)

She said that she has started a new chart for positive reinforcement. When the kids are "caught doing something good" they get a sticker on their chart. The collected stickers will help them get to the treasure box. She said Will has about five stickers currently.

She also said something about "bribing" them with a special snack if they are good. I don't really remember what the specifics were to this...

Overall, I really think she is trying to do a good job and has a good attitude towards Will. After talking with Will as well, I think he is ok with her, too.

I think (hope) that the roughest part of the transition period is over and that every thing will even out.

HOWEVER...

All this thinking about homeschooling has really sparked something in me and when I nonchalantly asked Will what he would think about having school at home and mommy be the teacher; his face LIT UP, he clapped his hands and said, "YES! That sounds like a great idea!"

I truly think Will is board and acting out in school because nothing is holding his attention well enough. Mrs. B let on that there are kids in his class that still don't know their color sight words. Will knew them when he entered kindergarten and I am sure there other topics that he is just sitting there waiting on some of the other kids to catch up. That's got to be frustrating for him.

Now, I think homeschooling is turning out to be more of a personal choice instead of being a necessity to get him out of a bad situation.

The decision has not been made though. I am still educating myself on homeschooling and watching for improvement from the school. (There was a problem just yesterday where the teachers were not communicating with each other and it could have landed Will in In School Suspension if I hadn't stepped in. Let me tell you... I was one ticked-off mama!)

Today I meet with a homeschooling friend that also works with the school system regarding gifted children. She has been very inspiring to me and I look forward to gaining knowledge from her about homeschooling and about Will from a gifted stand-point.

If you haven't noticed by now, I do not make quick decisions. I take my time. I really take my time... to the point of it aggravating some people (seriously). This is constantly in my thoughts and in my prayers. I want to make a good, educated decision. Please pray for us during this decision making time.

Thanks so much for being here, for reading my ramblings, and offering opinions and advice! I love my bloggy-buddies! :)

P.S. Sorry for any grammatical errors - no time to reread! :)

Thoughts of Homeschooling

There have been quite a few posts here about the trouble Will is having at school. Here's a run-down of what's going on...

Will's original teacher, Mrs. P, is on leave for cancer treatments. She is not expected back until April 1st at the earliest. Her leave started during the Thanksgiving holidays. The two weeks after the Thanksgiving holiday his class had a substitute that a friend of mine called a boot-camp kindergarten teacher. It was a rough couple of weeks; Will spent the whole time on yellow or orange.

Then there was winter break. That was a great 14 days for us. We all worked together, enjoyed each others' company, and accomplished things together. I truly loved having all three boys home at the same time and not having a rigid schedule to follow. I felt like a good parent and LOVED IT!

After winter break, there was a three day school week with a different substitute. I'm not really sure, but I think this was a very lax week as I remember Will saying they got to play a lot.

The following Monday, there was yet ANOTHER substitute, Mrs. B. She is a certified teacher (but new to the work-force) and will be remaining in Will's class until Mrs. P. returns. She has been teaching his class for two weeks now. The majority of his days ended on orange or red; although he's been on yellow the last two days, thankfully. I don't know if it's him or if the teacher is super-strict or if it's just a transition period. Jeff and I requested a meeting with his teacher and that will be tomorrow.

Jeff and I met with the principal last week to express our concerns. Although it was good to talk with him, nothing is resolvable at this time and the situation is still very real. Jeff and I both feel that the school and teachers have done everything they possibly can to make the transition easy for the kids, but there has just been SO MUCH transitioning.

Will has more than once said that he wonders who his next teacher will be. He has cried a few days that he doesn't want to go to school. He has said that he follows Mrs. P's rules and shouldn't be getting in trouble for the things he is doing. It has been a rough couple of months!

I've also received a phone call on two different occasions from the PE teacher and then today the reading instructor walked Will out to the car to let me know he has been out-right defiant the last two days. His behavior is not acceptable, but this is just so unlike him.

I've talked with another mother from Will's class and she says that her child is having the same issues. This mother also says that she's spoken with another mother who's child is also struggling.

There's so much to this that I don't even have the time to write it out. There is so much spinning in my head going back and forth about what to do.

In the end, I am not satisfied with the amount of cards being pulled on Will - some of them being pulled for what I would consider normal 6 year old behavior. As a result, Will has not had any positive reinforcement from his teachers in two months. There have been days that I didn't want to send him to school because I didn't want him to feel like he was in trouble all the time. In fact, this past Friday, I did keep him out; I told him he could have a "vacation day". It was time for him to just have some FUN and RELAX.

You know something needs to change when you don't want to send your child to school anymore.

I am seriously considering pulling him out for the remainder of the school year and homeschooling. I feel like I would be able to give him a more consistent, understanding environment. I certainly feel competent enough to teach him what he needs to learn in order to be ready for 1st grade. At this time, my intention would be to return him to public school next year... unless we all absolutely love homeschooling.

There is a part of me that really wants to do this. I cannot express how much I actually enjoyed our winter break together. Having a task, working on it together, and accomplishing it. I don't remember a time that I have enjoyed more with just the boys and me at home.

Before you question about socialization... let me just say that Will is the most social 6 year old boy I know. He strikes up conversations with strangers, feels completely confident talking with adults, and getting rough-n-tumble with kids. We attend church three times a week, he'll be playing soccer in the spring, and he's showing an interest in learning to play the piano (another post in itself). Then of course, there are homeschooling co-ops and such. I seriously don't think socialization is an issue - even if we decide to homeschool for a few years.

The down-side to pulling Will out of school is that he won't be with his friends daily. He also won't be there when Mrs. P returns. I think that although there will be yet another transition back to her, in the end it would be a positive note to finalize the year. The kids just adore her. Another down-side is that I won't have even less time to myself... which is totally selfish, but a reality I need to consider.

Like I said... there are so many thoughts in my head. Pros and cons to both sides. Too much to list right now, so I'll leave it to you:

If you are a homeschooler, what were your reasons for choosing homeschooling? What do see as pros and cons to homeschooling? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

If you send your kids to school, what are your thoughts about homeschooling? Have you ever considered it and why did you choose not to do it?

I'm just a mess about this whole situation. I'm heart-broken for Will, disappointed in his behavior, irritated and the whole situation, and just really don't know what to do... please pray that Jeff and I will have the wisdom to make the right choice for our son and our family.

Thanks.

Fall Festival

Will's elementary school had a Fall Festival fund raising event. Will and I went for about 1 1/2 hours by ourselves while Jeff stayed with the other boys during their naps.

And of course I forgot my camera.

Will bounced and slid on blow-ups. We did a toy walk and he won 4 tiny Tonkas. He raced a little girl in a relay. We got cotton candy, pizza, and a drink.

After that, we went home to pick up the rest of the family for the remaining 30 minutes we had.

Will decided to play on the school playground. Nathan followed. I had tickets to burn, so Witt and I did the toy walk and didn't win a thing. Then I went to the cotton candy booth, asked to read the ingredients and sure enough... dairy free! I bought a stick for each boy.

This time I remembered my camera...





There's nothing better than cotton candy in the Fall! :)

Parenting is Hard Work

This parenting thing has not been too easy lately. Whew. Will has been misbehaving in school and Nathan is coming up on the Terrible Threes (the 3s are much worse than the 2s in my opinion!). To top it off, Witt's teething and has slept through the night twice in about 10 days (so that means I'm not sleeping either...)

Anyway...

Will's school has a system of pulling cards when children misbehave. If I understand it correctly this is how it works: Everyone starts on a green card at the beginning of the day. If they misbehave, a warning is given. Then after that the cards start to get pulled. The card after green is yellow, then orange and then red. Orange includes a note sent home from the teacher. Red includes a phone call from the teacher. Every day the child stays on green they get a hole punch in a different card. Once there are 5 punches, they get to go to the treasure box.

Will has been in school a total of 11 days and only has 4 punches on his card. You can do the math - there is lots of misbehavin' going on. Two days ago he got up from his chair and went to cut a little girl's hair instead of doing his art work. Yesterday he licked the inside of the bucket that holds their cartons of milk on ice. He won't keep his mouth shut or keep his hands to himself. I feel like the mom with the "bad kid", but he's not a bad kid. I just don't know how to help him make better choices.

His teacher is great. Last night was Open House and she allowed me to talk with her about Will even though it was mostly a night for the kids to show off what they've been doing. (Side note: I didn't realize it was a night to bring Will; I was by myself.) So while all the other kids were showing their parents around the room, I was talking with Mrs. P about Will. In fact, when I walked in she greeted me with a smile and "How are you?". I almost welled up in tears to that question. I'm really not doing all that great (see first paragraph...). To add to it all, I feel like I'm letting her down because she has to deal with his misbehavior and I've let Will down by not training him correctly to be more obedient (and quiet).

I don't want to be a super strict mom (which I'm not) nor do I want to be a lazy walk-all-over-me type of mom either (which I'm not). I want to be the mom that does the right thing. That disciplines correctly. That says the right thing at the right time in the right way. I want to be the mom with the child that behaves and obeys the first time. And the parenting I've been doing, well, I guess it's not really producing the fruit I had hoped it would.

Will and I have talked every day on the way to school what he needs to do and then each day I pick him up to hear, "Sorry, Mom, I'll do better tomorrow." It's very disappointing.

We are talking so much about how he needs to behave that this morning when I came and sat down next to him, his first words were, "So, what did you want to talk to me about?" He knew something was coming and he was right. We went over AGAIN that when he's in school he needs to sit & stay, zip his lips, and obey. Obviously we're talking about this a lot, but talking is not helping him make good choices.

So, what to do? How strict to get? What form of discipline to use? We've got some decisions to make and some action to take. Something more than a time out, nose in the corner, or occasional spanking. I think the only thing we haven't tried is taking something away. What's going to hit him the hardest is to loose his trains. I don't look forward to that meltdown.

I know this is a personal decision for each family, but what works for you? If you don't want to leave it in the comments, please feel free to email me... I'm looking for suggestions!!!