Simple & Slow Fridays: Wants and Need - Post Your's Here

After rereading this week's topic of Wants and Needs, my brain and heart have been working in different directions and in the same direction all at once it seems. What do I want? What do I need? What do I already have? Do I enjoy what I already have? Sometimes my heart and head agree - sometimes they don't - and then I go full swing again... This has been a tugging topic for me.

Is there anything I want? No, not really. Not materialistically. And why is that? Because if I want it I generally go get it or Jeff gets it for me. Even having said that, I'm really not a big "wanter of things" anyway.

What do I already have? Everything I need and more than I could ever possibly want. My house is full of "stuff". Still. Even after the decluttering efforts of last year.

Do I enjoy what I already have? Yes and no. Sometimes I am discouraged and overwhelmed by all that I have because I have so much... too much. At the same time, I am more than thankful and exceedingly grateful that I have what I do. I think many people (especially in America) can relate to the conflict of what I just said.

All of those thoughts relate to "stuff", and while that is an important topic, my heart has been struggling more with the wants and needs of emotion, interaction, and life in general. Asking those four questions again: What do I want? What do I need? What do I already have? Do I enjoy what I already have?

What do I want? I want to be an active, knowledgeable Christian, a wife that honors her husband, an involved mom, a (good) keeper of my home. Some of the time I am that person. Some of the time I am not. I want to have an interactive family life and I do not want to be in front of this computer wasting the day and my time away.

What do I need? I need to get a handle on this "blogging addiction". That post was meant as a "funny", but it has been resonating with me since I posted it. And then last night I ran across this post... Tears came to my eyes as I read the following:

When they approach the computer turn your chair around and look them in the eye and if you find more in their eyes than on the screen get up and take them on a nature walk or read a book to them.

As I read it, I saw Nathan coming to me at the computer each morning as has become our routine. What am I doing at the computer? Blogging, reading, googling, researching, surfing... wasting precious moments.

I've already deleted my bloglines and that has helped, but I really need to do more. I'm still looking for that perfect balance.

What do I already have? Same as before... Everything I need and more than I could ever possibly want. I have a beautiful family, a wonderful husband, the best congregation of believers a person could hope to associate with. And to be fair, I have this fun little blog and great bloggy friends.

Do I enjoy what I already have? Yes, but sometimes too much on the bloggy business. Moderation is key. And, yet, while I know this and I write this I don't want to give it up. That is the selfish/wanting part of me. I do enjoy blogging. I enjoy having my book and a physical way of remembering the special moments we have as a family. I think I would have more special moments and enjoy my family more if I could give up a little more blog socializing, though.

So, with all that said, here's what I'm doing: I'm deleting the counter on my blog. It's something little, but I need to do it; it's necessary. Although I enjoy seeing who has been here, how long they stayed, what kind of search they did to find me, it is time consuming. I know it will only be a few less clicks on the computer and you may not notice the difference, but I hope my family will. That counter takes the focus off of the reason I want this blog (to maintain a record) and puts the emphasis on you. No offense, but I don't want to focus on you. :)

I want and need to put the focus back into moment-keeping. That's where my heart and head come together and I hope that's where my life will find it's balance. I'll still be around the blogosphere and I'll still participate in the carnivals that benefit me and a my family, but I'll be surfing less, reading less, and commenting less. My little blog might even fall off of many blogrolls because I may be considered unsocial. You know what? That's ok. It's time to put the focus back where it belongs.

I know this isn't exactly what you probably had in mind for this week's S&SF post, but this is where I needed it to go. Here's Mr. Linky for your Wants and Needs post:

I'll have next week's topic of Stories later.