NO TV WEEK!

Today is the first day of Turnoff Week. I'm also going to limit my screen time this week to after the boys are in bed at night.

Today is also Go Flip a Rock Day. We'll be flipping our rock(s) tomorrow. It was absolutely too rainy to go outside today except when necessary. Surely there will be some good "stuff" under the rocks after all this rain!

Have a great week! Are you turning off your tv or limiting screen time?

I'm All Outta Wack Again

I'm struggling again. With the tv. With eating. With Jeff's schedule. With blogging and the computer in general. With chores. With connecting with my kids. With grocery shopping and meal planning.

With a balanced life in general.

I am HATING the tv right now. This is National Turn Your TV Off Week and I have yet to reduce any screen time for me or the boys, yet it drives me batty that I haven't! The boys zone in front of the tv and don't hear me when I talk to them... making for a bit of an angry mama. Then I zone in front of the computer and don't hear them when they come talk to me.

I've got to get a handle on this for them and me. It's not their fault that when I get stressed I turn on the tv for them and go about my business... whatever that business is, I really don't know. What do I do with my day???

Oh, yes, I know... the computer. My blog reader has way too many blogs on it. I have joined too many yahoo groups. Facebook is going to be the death of me yet and I have two email addresses that are so overloaded with junk that it takes me 15 minutes to just wade through! Then, of course, there are practical reasons to be on the computer - to print a recipe, find the answer to a quick question, look up a phone number or get driving directions. Still... more time on the computer.

The boys don't know if I'm doing something necessary or just vegging out. To them, I suppose all they know is that they see the back of my head and the light from the screen.

I need to just unplug everything and go get some fresh air!

The rest of my life feels like a similar type of struggle, too. I don't know what I want to cook for the week's suppers because I don't know if Jeff will be home, so I don't menu plan. Without a menu plan, I don't have a grocery list when I shop and come home with a hodge-podge of things that don't really amount to anything.

And why does Jeff not being home have anything to do with the amount of chores I get done around the house? Shouldn't keeping the home be a habit for me already? Shouldn't it be something that I just do every day? I'm falling behind on everything and when the time rolls around for Jeff to be home, I'm so bogged down in laundry and dirty dishes that I can't catch up in time to give him a clean house to come home to. Ugh.

I'm just so mad at myself right now. I feel like I'm just falling apart at the seams and everything I'm whining about is totally in my control. It's like I know what I want to do, but don't do it. This bible verse seems to be my "theme song" these days:

Romans 7:19
For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice.

I really just want to be a good wife and mother. I want to balance my life better. Connect with my kids and make good memories with them. I want them to remember mom reading them stories, playing games, making cookies. I don't want them to remember me sitting at the computer.

I want Jeff to have a virtuous wife.

^{Proverbs 31:10}

Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.

(Read the remaining passages HERE.)

I don't have to have it all together all of the time, but I want him to be able to rely on me for my part in our family. Lately I've just been in a cloud and not keeping anything together.

Today is a new day! I will do something positive!

Maybe it will just be a load of laundry, maybe it will be planting more seedlings for our garden, maybe it will just be reading a book to the boys. Maybe I'll make some cookies with them. And maybe I'll have a hot, nutritious dinner on the table tonight.

What I do know for sure is that I am turning this computer off for the day and picking up my scattered, weary self.

Isaiah 40:28-31

²⁸ Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

²⁹ He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

³¹ but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

I Don't Want to Just Survive

Do you ever have days where you feel like you have "just survived" parenthood? When at the end of the day what you really want to thank God for most is that you made it through the day?

Nothing specific has happened, but this thought of "just surviving" parenthood has been on my mind a lot lately. I want to do more than just survive it. I want to be a participant, be more active, and just plain more alive. I don't want my days to pass by taking uncaptured moments and unmade memories with them.

I need to refocus my thoughts. Redirect them on making memories. Although some of the most special memories are spur-of-the-moment, being more intentional ensures there are special memories being made! :)

With this thought in mind, I am going to start being more consistent with the Unplugged Projects. I love them. They are so simple and so broad in how we want to approach them. This week's project is themed Hard. So, come this Monday, you'll see something Hard. It might not be spectacular, but it will be something that I did with my boys!

Secondly, I am going to start Simple and Slow Fridays up again. Out of retirement it comes! This isn't always something I do with my boys, but it helps me direct my thoughts.

I love the book Mitten Strings for God and that's where I got the titles for each week. In the past I have given segments from the book for direction, but that became too much work. Now, each Friday I will just give a subject for the following Friday. And if you want to get started thinking about a post for my re-launch of SSF, the topic will be Enchantment. What a fun topic to start on!

If you're not really sure how this works, you might like to check out some of our previous topics (unfortunately in my blog re-design I lost all the Mr. Linky links... I am so sad about this! However, If you have the time, you can check the comment section for those that participated and search their blog by the posted date.)


Simplicity
Play
Secret Places
Wants and Needs
Stories
One-On-One Time
Surrender
Healing
Listening
Nature


Not this Friday, but next Friday, September 26th, I will have my post up about Enchantment and a Mr. Linky for you to link up your post on Enchantment, too. At the end of my post I will include the following week's topic. Let me know what questions you have; I hope to have lots of participants, but even if I don't this is something good for me.

I hope you'll join me on my quest to do more than survive! :)

Recap of our "No" TV Week

Monday, Day 1: After waking up, Will immediately said, "Mommy, I'm Bored!" because he wanted to try out his bored box. The first item he drew was to make a castle with Leggos. Here's the completed castle. Yes, everyone is still in their pjs... I told you he said it immediately after waking! :)

Nathan went to the tv and pushed the button to turn it on. Nothing happened because I had unplugged it. He tried again and again. He looked at me and I told a bit of a fib and said it was broken. He said very seriously, "Dadda, fix!" and then went to find something else to do. Boy, that was easy.

Then Will said he was bored again. (This word "bored" is a new one for him. He doesn't quite understand it yet. I made the mistake of explaining that he got to draw something from the box when he says he is bored. Oh well.) So anyway, he was "bored" again. He drew the slip that said to pick new books.

I recently did an overhaul of the kids' books and stored the majority of them. It was time to switch them out anyway, so that's what we did. Will and Nathan picked 7 books each they wanted to put away and 7 new books from the stored ones. The spent the rest of the morning reading books until it was time for Will to go to school.

The boys played outside in the sandbox until Jeff got home and then we all cleaned up the back yard, raking leaves and cut grass. Baths all around and into bed! Whew!

Day 2: No attempt at turning the tv on. No mention of it, either. We spent the first minutes of the day listening. Then, around 7:30AM Will brings me a slip of paper... "Bake cookies". My initial reaction is, "No, there's not enough time before school." But then I realized there was still 1 1/2 hours before we needed to leave, so... we baked cookies!

My MIL came over so I could do my weekly shopping and errands. She would also be spending the night because Witt had an ENT appointment Wednesday morning.

The boys played outside all day! It was beautiful.

We spent the evening watching Jeff rescue a balloon from the tree.

Day 3: It all fell apart today, not the tv watching... the day in general. Witt's appointment at 8:30AM went fine - he'll be getting tubes on April 28th (my bday... happy birthday to me). Upon returning from the ENT I find Will sobbing in tears that his hip hurts. MIL says he's been crying about it for an hour. I've never seen this kid so upset, so I call his pediatrician.

To make a VERY LONG story short, on the way to the pediatrician, will threw up... repeatedly. I figure it was actually his stomach that hurt and not his hip, but after a visit to the pediatrician, we ended up at the hospital for hip x-rays and blood work anyway. I brought Will home after several hours at the hospital. Everything came back fine; the blood work corresponded to a virus. (Sometimes mom knows best and if I had only waited 20 more minutes before going to the pediatrician I would have saved Will the torment of being sick and waiting at the hospital... oh what day!)

After returning Will home, I headed back across town to preregister Witt for his ear tubes.

The rest of the day is a blur... but we didn't watch tv.

Day 4, Thursday: Will's energy has returned two-fold and MIL leaves to go back to her house, but offers to keep Will and Nathan the next two nights if I'll bring them to her house later that afternoon. SCORE! Yes, ma'am I can do that!

That evening at 7:30PM, I was by myself. Witt was in bed, the older boys were gone, and Jeff was working. I made the conscious choice to sit down and watch a movie all... by... myself. I don't regret it. It was great to veg-out!

Day 5, Friday: The boys were at MIL's. I'm sure they were allowed to watch as much tv as they wanted. I cleaned the house with Witt.

Day 6, Saturday: The boys return around noon. Will breaks down in tears that I won't let him watch tv. I remind him about his box. He brings me a slip. Whatever it was, he doesn't want to do it. And another. Same thing. And another. Same thing. I stood my ground on "no tv".

We decide to snuggle up in the chair and read a book. Then we build another castle with the blocks. We also build a new train track layout.

Day 7, Sunday: The boys are so tired and whiny from their trip to grandmother's and from worship services in the morning. Jeff breaks down while lunch is being prepared with, "Becky, where ARE the videos?!?" He pops one in and we let the boys eat lunch in front of the tv for some peace and quiet.

Later that afternoon, Will asks for tv again and wants to know when we can "watch it all the time".

WHAT I LEARNED AND WHERE I WANT TO GO FROM HERE...

I also limited my computer time during this week and I think that made for the most successful days when I adhered to the limitations. I was also more productive in the house. I'd like to continue limiting my computer time - I just haven't figured out the best time of the day for me to allow the computer time.

As far as the tv goes, life goes much smoother in the morning without it. We have plenty of time to get ready and even make cookies if we want! It's just hard when it's been a rough night's sleep for me and I don't want to have to deal with the morning.

I would like to see us keep the tv off until after Will comes home from school... maybe a video while I'm cooking supper. It's going to take a lot of discipline for that though... more for me than the kids.

It was a good week and I enjoyed the extra time with the kids. I want them to have memories of me reading to them and playing with them... not memories of just sitting and watching tv or of mom on the computer.

So, with that... I'm turning the computer off to go be with the kiddos!

Books and Turning Off the Boob-Tube

This week's Unplugged Project is entitled Books.

This comes at a great time for us because I have just revamped our books. Basically, I sorted, did a little purging, and boxed some up for rotating them later. The boys' books were just out of control. They couldn't see a tree through the forest so to speak. So now I've got two boxes of books in the garage and two bookshelves showing books by their cover, not their spine. The rooms are less cluttered and they are excited to see books they haven't seen in awhile.

In an effort to reduce our tv watching, I took away all the VHS tapes and all but 5 DVDs (Update: I got this idea from The Toby Show via Unplug Your Kids). Once we got rid of the cable, the DVD watching began to spin out of control. I replaced the videos with books and a CD player. Now what they see is lots of learning books (ABC books, science books, work books, human body books, etc) and books on CD. I also put a few CDs of children's songs in the CD player, too.
Nathan is having fun learning the "Hokey Pokey" and "If You're Happy and You Know It...". The DVD watching is diminishing and we're getting some exercise! (Try doing the Hokey Pokey a few times without getting winded...) LOL!

I thought this would be a good time to share some of the boys' favorite books, too. Will is really into manners and behavior books right now. Jeff captured this moment of me reading Why Do You Always Say Please? to Will during our one-on-one time.



This is Nathan's favorite: Slide and Find Trucks. Instead of flaps, this book has sliding doors. It is a bit of a memory game as well as teaching different trucks and tractors, colors, and drivers (police, firemen, etc).



My favorite book to read them is Five Minute Devotionals for Children. It's a quick nightly read about one of God's creatures and then there are questions for reading/listening comprehension as well as "What do you think?" questions. It really is a cute book.



So, with all of these books available, we should be ready to Break Free of TV come April 21-27 for TV Turnoff Week! Unplug Your Kids is doing a challenge; head over there and join me!

My goal is actually NO TV that week. We've done a week without tv before so I know we can do it again. This time though, I think the kids will be a little less shocked because we've already been reducing it and I'll be a little more prepared with a few more activities. ;)

Not only is this challenge for tv watching, but for other "screen" watching as well. I'll be keeping the computer off except for nap times. I've tried this in the past, and IT IS HARD. What an addiction I have! Again, I'm hoping to have some extra activities planned to keep my mind off of it, too!

After the week is over, I'll have a post of how we did: the good, the bad, and the ugly (hopefully there won't be too much ugly).

This week, though, we'll be working on another Unplugged Project: FOOD!!! Maybe I'll have something new to add to Must Follow Recipes - wouldn't that be exciting!? :)

Uh Oh... We Plugged Back In

Okay, admission time here. We've been watching waaayyy too much tv again. It's amazing how a little germ can throw everything off. We let the boys veg-out in front of the boob tube when they were sick and then when Jeff was sick, I left the tv on to babysit them while I finished killing the germs around the house. After that, we just kind of fell back into the old routine. Well, almost - we still weren't watching quite so much as before.

(I've always been meaning to put this side note in somewhere and this looks like a good spot: We don't let our kids just watch anything on tv. We only watch PBS and it's all educational programming. No violence. No commercials. No random nonsense. We've always been very good about the choices of shows. It's the amount of time they spend that we don't like. Jeff and I were actually tv free for at least two years before we had kids. It was wonderful. We talked, read, spent time together, cleaned, cooked, walked the dogs, lots of things. It was a much less stressful life without the veg-out. Sounds like it should be less stressful WITH the veg-out, but it wasn't. Anyway, that's my side note. Glad to have put it in somewhere. Back to our regularly scheduled blog...)

Anyway... last night was another rough night of teething for Witt and when everyone got up for the day, the tv went on. Breakfast was stressful because the boys wanted to watch instead of eat. Getting ready for school was stressful because they wanted to watch instead of get dressed. ETCETERA ETCETERA ETCETERA... This was a stressful morning.

Was it all the tv? No. Did it make matters worse? Yes. Can I fix that? Yes! :) Jeff and I have already discussed that the tv stays off tomorrow and future mornings. We're going unplugged again.

I thought it important to write about our little pitfall. There's no need to make it seem extremely easy. It's an adjustment and we're forming new habits. We - Will - Make - It!!! :)

Thanks for letting me vent for a minute. Hey, wait, this is my blog; I can do what I want to!!! (Yes, feeling a little sassy today! ha!)

Unplugged Adventures

I don't really know which "day" we're on in our week without tv. Unfortunately, we have not been tv free; however, we have not watched tv until about 3 in the afternoon and it's only been a little bit. I'm pleased with that.

Mornings have been less hectic. I don't have to remind Will *quite* so much to get ready, brush teeth, etc. because the tv is not on to distract him. We've played trains or read books before school every day this week. The house is quieter. It's nice.

I even fought the urge to turn the tv on last night to watch House. Jeff and Will were practicing his writing of the letters "H" and "h". I did blog during that time, though. The tv was still off and Will got some extra attention. That was our main goal.

The boys still ask for it in the morning occasionally, but we just say no politely and remind them that we aren't going to turn it on. If they try, it doesn't work because it is truly unplugged, which also means that I have to make a conscious decision to turn it back on.

Overall, I'm pleased with our efforts to keep the tv off. ;)

Unplugged - Day 1

When I approached our oldest, Will, with the idea of turning off the tv, I approached it from the positive stand point of, "Do you know what we get to do when the tv is off? Have special family time together!" His eyes lit up! "Does that mean we get to play trains together?" I told him, that yes, sometimes we will play trains. I was also quick on my feet enough to throw a few other suggestions at him (coloring, reading, etc). I also explained that we will all still have chores to do; however, the faster the chores are done the more special family time we'll have. He seemed pretty ok with that.

We've always had a family tradition of piling into the master bed in the morning. Jeff is usually able to leave for work around 7:45-ish so one by one boys are added to our bed. 6:45 Nathan 6:58 Witt 7:03 Will. Jeff and I drink coffee the two older boys get hot chocolate milk and we have conversation. (Will likes this word "conversation".)

As the time approaches for Jeff to start getting ready we all head to the living room (usually to turn cartoons on). Instead, the first thing out of Will's mouth is, "Want to have some special family time playing trains with me?" Sweet, yes. Practical, no. We do have to eat breakfast, get dressed brush our teeth, and put dirty laundry in the laundry room (Will's Thursday morning chore).

Jeff leaves for work after a round of kisses for everyone (again a regular family tradition at our house.) The rest of us eat breakfast at the table (not in front of PBS). Will brushes his teeth and then gets dressed with a little reminding from me. Looking at the clock, I realize his ride for school will be here shortly and decide to let him slide this morning on the laundry. We need to have that special family time I promised. So we all head to Will's room for some train time! We had at least 15 - 20 minutes together. It was nice.

Nathan at some point during the morning signs "sign" because he wants to watch "Signing Time". I tell him no, that the tv doesn't work today. Then he says "Blah". Blah is the name his has given a little lizard on one of his Baby Einstein videos that sticks out its tongue and says "Blah!". Again, no the tv doesn't work. He seems a bit confused, but I help him find some colors and a book. We had this conversation about 3 times this morning.

As for me, I am disgusted with the number of times I wanted to check my email and thought about turning on the tv. I've changed my game plan a bit in that I will be using one of my "checks" during the time I have both boys down for a nap. That way I am always available to them when they are awake. Makes better sense.

The true test of this will be this afternoon when Will returns and I have to cook supper. I think it will be fine though. I'll let you know tomorrow...

We're Going Unplugged

Jeff and I have been talking about this for some time and after reading this post on Unplug Your Kids and seeing a tv commercial today showing a child coming home from school and the parents being too "busy" for their kids we've decided that it's time: We are unplugging the tv for a week.

Unplugging the tv includes not watching videos and DVDs. We will allow some educational computer games for Will as they help him with his spelling and reading. With the tv going off, it's a good thing that I have my list of "Important Things to Do" on the right hand side of my blog! :)

I'm unplugging my self from the computer a bit also. I will allow myself to check my email/blog in the morning with my cup of coffee (as has become my morning wakeup ritual). I will then turn the computer OFF until 1:00PM when I will check it again before Will returns home from school. Then OFF it goes for the rest of the day until the next morning. During these two times I will also tend to my blog and give updates on how this "experiment" is progressing. The blogs will be short and sweet. My weakness with the computer is mindless surfing. It needs to stop.

So, what do I hope to gain from this? Honestly, a couple of things. First, I don't want to rot my kids brains out. Second, I want to spend more quality time with them. I zone out in front of the no-brain box myself. Thirdly, I want our family to interact more in the evening. Especially after Witt and Nathan are in bed. We have 1 hour alone with Will before bedtime. We don't need to be watching tv during that hour. We need to be reading or playing or whatever with him. Will has to take a back seat to the little ones a lot because they NEED more from us than he does (as he can take care of a lot of things himself - not because he needs us less). This is a good time for us to show him that his needs are important too, even if he just *needs* us to play trains. :)

And what happens after the week is up? I truly hope that we'll continue with the tv off. I hope I won't be so frazzled from having lost a part-time babysitter. If we do continue with it off, I don't think we'll do it forever, but instead use the tv as a treat. And even then, make it a family event with popcorn and the whole bit. I want a much more family centered family.

So, I think I've covered it all. Goals, Limitations, Rewards, Next Steps. We're ready. Tonight after explaining to the boys about what we're going to do, we are removing the DVDs and videos from eyesight and unplugging the no-brain box.