Friday, April 4, 2008

Simple & Slow Fridays: Surrender - Post Your's Here

This week's S&SF is entitled Surrender. To be honest, I don't think I knew the meaning of the word before I became a mother. Sure I got a taste of it when Jeff and I married when compromises needed to be made, but to surrender my wants/need for my family's wants/needs is something I work on daily. I am but human and selfish at times.

First, let me start off with the fact that I am one of those black and white thinkers, either something "is" or it "isn't", numbers are easy for me and I like concrete thinking. It is hard for me to picture something in my head if I've never seen it before. If there is a book on how to do something, that something should work out just as the book states if the directions are followed correctly.

Much to my surprise, "they" weren't kidding when they said there is not an instruction manual for babies. Trust me, there's not one. I looked. I read. I tried the directions the books gave. They didn't work. I was so frustrated because basically those books say, "In order to be a good mom and raise a healthy child, you must do XYZ." However, Will apparently did not read those books and he obviously didn't know that he was supposed to do XYZ. ;)

I stressed and stressed over his nap schedule, his feeding schedule, his poop schedule. How many wet diapers, how many minutes he nursed, how long he was awake, how many minutes he slept. Oh, yes, I counted the minutes in his naps. I remember the day I was so excited that he slept for 48 minutes! He was a terrible napper: generally 20-30 minutes every 2 hours until he was 9 months old. I felt like a failure at times because I couldn't get him on a schedule like all the books said I should.

It wasn't until I tossed those books, surrendered to the mother I am inside and just listened to my child and my instincts, that our lives became less stressed and more balanced. I became a better mom when I surrendered to the needs of my child, not the child in the book.

I learned a lot from my experience as a first-time mom. And it's a good thing, too, because my second child had colic for 4 1/2 months and had chronic ear infections for the first two years of his life. If I didn't surrender to his needs, I can't imagine what life would have been like. My third child was a surprise. I'll admit, there was a transition period of surrendering to the idea of another baby... but it didn't take long for that momma-love to kick in! I am so glad it was a fairly quick transition so that I could enjoy the great blessing of carrying him.

I guess where I'm going with this is that once we learn the art of surrendering, when done for the right reasons, our life gets better, clearer even. Once we, as mothers, are able to surrender our human desires for the needs of our family, everyone is happier. (ie surrender blogging time to spend quality time with the boys instead, etc).

Not only is surrendering important as a mother and a wife, but of course as a Christian as well. To surrender our cares, worries, and troubles to Christ is something I also struggle with, but in the times I am able to do it... life gets better, clearer even. Everyone is happier. There is a reason we are told not to worry (Matt 6:25-34) - it's not necessary; we've been given the act of surrendering instead. We only have to learn how to use it... and you know what? There is a book for that. :)

Please link up your posts on Surrender:

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Click here for next week's topic of Healing.


The Joys of having Boys said...

I did it, that was my first time to do anything like that and what a great topic!!

On a side note the comfy undies are Hanes Her Way Barely There. And hence the name they feel as though they are barely there, but not in a weird way. Now I'm in Texas so I have been able to get them at Wal-Mart and Kohls.

CC said...

This is NOT my area of expertise at all! Going through infertility for me was the exact opposite of surrendering. It was fighting and fighting. but you are right, there was no peace in that.

And, there really SHOULD be an instruction manual for parenting as I recently talked about!

Mary@notbefore7 said...

I can so relate to this. Beautifully written and spoken. My first baby experience was so similar. Thanks for sharing!

Super B's Mom said...

This topic was a GREAT one. :)

4funboys said...

I'm still not there yet... but it's a great goal.

mom24 said...

Oh how I still wish there was an instruction manual! After all, if God can grow an entire human being in our bodies, why can't it come with a book? *snortsnort*
Love this post - motherhood is so amazing, huh? God is constantly teaching us and changing us through our beautiful kids!

Lulu said...

I thought I was doing so good! I had my post almost finished on Thursday, but when I finished it up Friday, I couldn't get the thing to post. ARRRGH! Anyhow, it's there now.

I think you are a fabulous mom. It's amazing to think that something so high maintenace like a baby (or two or three) can help mellow a girl out.